Thursday, June 26, 2014

My Story - Part I

I wasn't always this fun-loving, fitness fanatic I am today.  It took a long time and a lot of soul-searching to get here but, alas, here I am.  Praise God that He led me here!  So, I would like to share my story with you....

When I was 24, seven years ago, I was working as a bank teller after working in public accounting for 6 months after graduation and decided that cubicle life was not for me.

I was also in a long-term relationship and had been for over 2 years.  I was determined to marry this boy.  We had a very tumultuous and toxic relationship.

You're probably wondering why I stayed.  I ask myself that so often.  Truth is, I was afraid of being alone. He had broken me and I didn't think that I could put the pieces back together to make it on my own.  My confidence was gone and I thought that no one else would possibly ever want me, so I begged him to marry me.  When he refused and told me that he was never getting married, I cried out to God, asking him what was so wrong with me.  I didn't understand why I wasn't good enough, but it turns out, he was the one who wasn't good enough, and God knew that all along.

So about Christmas time that year, I saw a photo of myself and I was horrified at how I looked.  See, I had been a very active child playing sports growing up.  I was even a cheerleader in college until I was 21, therefore I had never struggled with my weight because I was always on the go.

But, now.  Now, I had forgotten to take care of myself, either that, or I just didn't care.  I wasn't working out.  I was eating what ever he was eating, which was rarely, if ever, healthy.  Honestly, when I don't feel great about myself, I don't work out or take care of myself.  I didn't feel like I was worth it or deserved to feel good and happy, but luckily, I was working with a girl at the time in a bank.  She was on her own journey to getting fit and she helped get me motivated.

Because I was on the very tight budget of being a bank teller and couldn't afford a gym membership, I started working out at home with various DVDs.  Then, I got brave and decided I wanted to start running.  I began setting my alarm for 5:45 two mornings a week, so that I could run the 1.5 mile route around our house.

This soon became a habit of mine but the runs got longer and longer, until I decided to finally run a 5K.  That 5K nearly killed me.  I couldn't believe it had been that hard.  I thought I could just go out there and wing it.  Wrong.  But almost exactly 2 years later I ran a full marathon.  That's 26.2 miles for anyone out there who doesn't know.

But, before I even ran that 5K, I knew that there was something I must do first, and that was leave that nightmare that I had been living.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done...but I did it with the help of a few friends and lot of courage.  After I had started feeling my heart really beat in my chest, I knew what it was to really live and I wasn't ready to let that slip away.  I realized that I was worth something.  I had a lot to offer to myself and ...possibly to others.

I was in school.  I was getting my masters degree to teach elementary school.  Soon, I would be certified to teach any grade from Kindergarten to sixth grade.  I was so excited and thought, what a great job that would be!  I would get to hang out with kids every day.  Lead their little hearts to live lives they could never have imagined before entering my classroom.  (Little did I know back then...but I digress.  More on that later.)

To be continued...


  1. Thank you for sharing your story! I think until we make the decision on our own we can't get fit or figure out what is best for us. Good for you!!

  2. Brave to share. Glad you realized it wasn't you that wasn't worth it or able to be loved.